The rationale for this method is that if you continue this pattern every night, you will condition your baby to expect to be left alone, and he will learn to calm himself and fall asleep.

This system works for many parents, but it is not an easy system to adhere to. The first night it could take two hours of revisiting to get the baby to sleep. The second night it might take less time, and so on. But parents have to stick to the system. If they can’t tolerate some crying and they pick up their baby, they’re conditioning him to think that they’ll eventually pick him up if his crying persists.

Some experts don’t agree with this technique. They point out that it’s too difficult for many parents; some may feel guilty if their baby’s been ill or if they’ve been away at work all day. Sometimes there are sound reasons for not letting a child cry. For example, at about 8 or 10 months of age when a child may be experiencing separation anxiety, his sleep may be affected and he may need extra support.

Finding that fine line between comforting your child and setting limits is another one of those difficult jobs most parents face. Relax and the right combination will evolve.

In the pre school years

Most 3-year-olds have given up naps but may still need a quiet time after a busy or an overstimulating day. Because a child’s bedroom or sleeping area is a space for relaxing and sleeping it’s not a good idea to use it as a place for time out. The preschooler will probably need bedtime rituals as a way of winding down. The rituals are important, but don’t make the mistake of prolonging them. Singing or playing soft lullaby tapes will help the child drift off.

Once she’s in bed, make sure she knows you expect her to stay there. Reassure her that she’s safe and that you’re nearby. If she cries out, first see if she can calm herself before you respond. If she needs you, offer reassurance, tuck her back in bed and encourage her to return to sleep.

Lying down with the child may be helpful initially, but doesn’t help the child develop her own strategies for falling asleep.

Giving a ten-minute warning time helps ease the transition to bedtime for some children. Be sure to praise a child when she settles down comfortably.

Warning Signs

Although time, understanding and interventions solve most sleep problems, some may persist. Among the common sleep problems:

Nightmares

It is the rare child who doesn’t have a nightmare at some time. Most dreams are easily forgotten and every child has an occasional bad dream. Many children, however, have nightmares that are frightening and disturbing to them. Nightmares usually occur late in the night as the periods of REM sleep grow longer. The child usually awakens from the nightmare and is well aware of what has happened. Depending on how frightened she is, she may call out frantically for her parents, come into her parents room, or go back to sleep. In the morning, she’ll usually be able to recall the bad dream.

Nightmares may occur often and become more intense when a child is under stress. Children’s tolerance for frightening experiences vary. There is no cause for alarm if a child has occasional nightmares, which are most common between the ages of three and eight. Times of change, such as moving, starting school, or adjusting to a family change, can trigger nightmares.

For occasional nightmares, hugs and reassurance are the best response. Identifying and reducing the stress the child is experiencing is also helpful. Simple solutions often work. If a child is frightened about staying in the dark, a night-light can be the solution. Trying to talk her out of the danger of a monster or a ghost is usually not successful. Avoid violent movies, television programs and books. Choose stories in which people successfully conquer their fears in the end. If a child has recurring nightmares and becomes fearful and irritable during the day, consultation with a professional can be helpful.

Night Terrors

These are easily confused with nightmares. Night terrors are not bad dreams; a child during a night terror is not dreaming. Night terrors usually occur shortly after the child falls asleep, within the first three hours. When a child has a night terror, she may scream and thrash in bed, kicking or punching, with eyes wide with fear. She doesn’t respond to questions and may even hit or push an adult away. Most night terrors last between thirty seconds and five minutes. Once the terror ends, the child soon goes back to sleep and will not remember the event the next morning. Some children seldom have attacks, others have them often. Night terrors are not thought to be indicators of emotional disturbance, but are probably related to a temporary delay in the maturation of the brain, and as the child shifts from one stage of sleep to another, there is some interference. Night terrors usually occur when a child is around eighteen months old, and are more common in boys than girls.

Night terrors run in families. Stress and excessive fatigue are also thought to be factors. Children usually outgrow these attacks as they mature. During an attack the parents’ main concern should be that the child not hurt herself. Stay in the room and intervene if you think she’s in danger, but otherwise don’t restrain her. A brief nap during the day can be helpful. Some parents have found that waking the child up prior to the time when the attacks generally occur may prevent the attack. For persistent night terrors, a physician may prescribe an anti-anxiety medication for a short period.

Pages: 1 2 3