How do babies reveal their memories post-natally? Long term studies conducted by Italian psychologist Alessandra Piontelli and published in her book From Fetus to Child show that babies who are frightened and insecure in utero and who demonstrate this through their behavioral states, do the same thing at five years of age and older. Memories are displayed in relationships, play, illnesses, sleep patterns and dreams. Children rely on their parents to pay attention to these expressions and help them to understand what they mean.

Whitney’s experience of her first son’s memories of his caesarean birth supports this theory. In the midst of storytelling, Timmy said “Will our new baby have to wait to come out instead of pushing, the way I did, Mommy?” At first Whitney stared at her son in amazement, and then she acknowledged his wisdom, just as she had learned to acknowledge her own.

“Was waiting hard for you?” she asked her son. “It was very hard,” Timmy replied. “I don’t want my baby to have to wait.” “OK,” Whitney said, “I’ll do my best so there will be no waiting this time.”

My own second daughter’s accusation, when she was twelve years old, that I “really wanted a boy” (a truth I had almost forgotten) is my personal substantiation of the prenatal capacity to experience, to know, and to remember.

BIRTH: THE FULFILLMENT OF PRENATAL LEARNING AND EMBRYOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT

“It is the fetal nervous system that integrates all kinds of sensory and physiological information to judge when it is time to be born.” Lise Eliot, Ph.D.

Whitney learned how her child’s embryological behavioral states continued into the birthing process when she went into labor. The process slowed just when it should have intensified, causing even her midwife to consider going to the hospital. It was deja vu for Whitney and her family. Everyone was recalling Dr. Carlson’s cautionary words when the family declared their intention to deliver at home. “Vaginal deliveries after caesareans are not recommended,” she had said, sternly.

“It’s OK,” Whitney told her family and midwife, turning the tables on her team. Weren’t they supposed to be reassuring her?

“My baby is just concerned,” she declared, smiling. “We need to have a conversation.” Her body provided Whitney with the truth she trusted. Her baby could and would decide the time of birth.

Whitney closed her eyes and commenced an internal dialogue in which she encouraged her child to continue to journey forward and inquired about what the difficulty might be. Her communion was a show stopper for everyone.

“What’s he saying?” Timmy blurted out, unable to control himself. He had always known he had a brother in there!

“He says that he doesn’t know if we will have time for him because we are all so busy. He’s not sure we really want him,” Whitney said softly, looking directly at her husband.

“Is that just you talking?” Blake asked, dumfounded.

“He’s been listening, watching and learning,” Whitney answered, her face radiant in the greatest certainty she had ever known.

“OK,” Blake said, tears streaming down his face. “I’ll spend more time at home. I really want to.” By this time he was sobbing.

The baby’s response was the biggest contraction Whitney had ever felt. Within thirty minutes their baby was born. They named him Micah, the merciful messenger.

Stephanie Mines, Ph.D. is a psychologist with great interest and experience in prenatal development. She is the developer of the TARA approach, a system of medicine blending east and west traditions to resolve shock and trauma for patients in all walks of life. She has dedicated significant resources to the reduction of trauma in the birthing process for both the mother and child. See more at her site: http://www.tara-approach.org

Pages: 1 2 3 4